There are some approaches to the problem of squeezing your bridesmaids into their dresses without damaging their wallets or their egos.

The most traditional approach, approved by etiquette gurus of the 1960s, is that the bride chooses the bridesmaid dresses, and the bridesmaids grit their teeth and wear them without a murmur of protest.

It's important to note that this rule dates from an era when most couples married very young. According to From Front Porch to Back Seat, a scholarly book on twentieth-century courtship practices, marriage the summer after high school graduation was the ideal, even for youngsters who were bound for college.

If the bridesmaids were friends of the bride, they were 17- or 18-year- olds whose parents picked up the bills for the wedding outfits. And they truly might wear the dress again at a college formal.